the pay heist
→ The court voided it. The board re-approved it. Twice.
Delaware voided Tesla's $56B CEO pay package. The board ratified it anyway. Net income fell 74% over two years. The CEO now leads DOGE — which directly oversees the agencies Tesla depends on. Meanwhile the board committed $2B of shareholder cash to the CEO's own AI company.
the $1.5T black box
→ $9 billion raised. Zero revenue ever disclosed.
SpaceX raised $9.03B across 26 SEC filings and declined to disclose revenue on every single one. Now it targets a $1.5 trillion IPO — after merging with Twitter and xAI in back-to-back private transactions, each valued by Musk-aligned entities. The S-1 will be the first time anyone sees the books.
the drone ban
→ They wrote the law. They owned the stock.
Unusual Machines raised $119M on $6.3M revenue. Its founder runs a competing defense drone company. Donald Trump Jr. joined its advisory board for 200K shares. His father signed an executive order benefiting UMAC. Insiders sold $3.86M at every regulatory milestone — always at the peak.
the promote machine
→ The promote was the product all along.
Five SPACs. $3.44B raised from public investors. Sponsor shares across all vehicles acquired for approximately $25,000 total. Four S-1s filed within 45 days. One SEC investigation. One liquidation after two years and zero deals. Virgin Galactic has lost $2.35B since IPO.
the $2,617 question
→ Bear case: +1,088%. That's the worst outcome.
ARK's 2024 Tesla model projects $2,617/share by 2029 — $1.23T revenue, $8.27T enterprise value. 62% of revenue requires robotaxi launch in 2025 (bull) or 2026.5 (bear). It's February 2026. ARKK fell 75% from its 2021 peak. Prior targets ($4,000 by 2024, $2,000 by 2027) also missed.
the captured regulator
→ The regulator is funded by the regulated.
The FDA approves the drugs whose makers fund 45% of its budget. Commissioners leave for pharma board seats within months. DOGE fired 3,500 FDA staff — including the neurological device reviewers overseeing Musk's own Neuralink clinical trials. Advisory committee meetings fell 68%.
the revolving door
→ They wrote the rules. Then they joined the firms that needed them.
Six senior SEC officials departed and landed at firms they regulated — average gap: five months. Jay Clayton: Chair → Apollo ($631K/year). Dalia Blass: wrote ETF rules → BlackRock chief lobbyist. William Hinman: gave the ETH speech while receiving deferred comp from Simpson Thacher. Paul Atkins: 16-year crypto advisory → SEC Chair with $327M in crypto. 861 SPACs. Near-zero enforcement.
the $3.7M company
→ $2.44B raised. $3.7M in revenue. $904M in bitcoin.
Trump Media raised $2.44B in 2025 while generating $3.682M in revenue. Proceeds were deployed into a $904M bitcoin treasury. Five NYSE ETFs launched in five days. Eric Trump holds 68.1M super-voting Class B shares (10,000 votes/share) in an affiliated company. The SEC sent 30 comment letters.